Therapy Consumer Guide
Is it just me or is finding a therapist and navigating the therapy world a little bit overwhelming?
I hear it all too often from clients, friends and family. They just don't know where to start, who to see and what they need. I am going to try and break it down here as clearly as possible and hopefully this can clarify your options.
First things first, before hiring someone, it is important to reflect deeply on what you are looking for in a therapist. Just remember - there is no wrong answer here. There is simply what makes you comfortable and what does not. For example, do you prefer a male or female therapist? Why is that? Has the sex of your therapist been an issue in the past? Sometimes trying the opposite sex can help you grow, and other times it can be a barrier to feeling safe and understood.
Other things to consider might be:
Whether you’re looking for in person or online sessions or the flexibility for both?
Do you prefer a certain age?
Does experience matter more? Or simply quality?
Do you want new and cutting edge approaches?
If you have a specific concern you are seeking help with, be sure to ask if the therapist has experience with this concern or is comfortable addressing it.
What is your budget for therapy and how "deep" do you want to go? (You can read more about that here.) Try to identify your goals for therapy so you can discuss them with your therapist - what would you want to achieve or what would tell you it was worth the effort and resources to attend therapy.
Do credentials and levels of training or certification matter to you? (Read more about these here.)
If you’ve tried therapy before, did you enjoy your last therapy experience? If so what was their approach? Perhaps you want to deliberately seek out a different style to see if that unlocks some new understandings and growth?
What if you’ve tried therapy before and the experience didn't work or was a bad fit? Remember that every therapist is different and there are many factors that could have led to a bad experience. Was it a personality mismatch with a therapist who felt hokey or was too pushy or didn't seem to understand your situation? Did the approach to therapy not fit or not produce change? Was the timing in your life poor and it felt forced or rushed? Was therapy attempted because someone else wanted you to go? Was it maybe the wrong kind of therapy or the wrong level of therapy?
The bottom line is try to be informed about what you value and what you are looking for.
Now let’s say you’ve reached the point where you’ve found a therapist that ticks all the boxes and you meet with them for the first time.
How do you know if they’re truly a good fit?
Most importantly, you MUST be comfortable with your therapist and feel like they are in your corner. If not, it doesn't matter if they have the hottest, most powerful and impressive tools – it’s not going to work. You need to feel respected, supported, and not judged. Your therapist will walk with you through some of your hardest moments and most vulnerable experiences and the last thing you should be worrying about is shielding them or putting a pretty spin on your past.
Your therapist needs to create a therapeutic experience that is just that – therapeutic. Sessions with your therapist, while difficult at times, should never feel like you are being judged or given advice that does not match your needs and perspective. If sessions are too hard or if you need to tell them you don't like a technique, your therapist should be able to handle that and not take it personally. You should always be able to ask for what you need.
As you walk your therapy journey, I would always encourage you to keep trying until you find the right fit, because when it is right, it can be powerful! Hopefully this guide has empowered you to ask some different questions and clarify what you are looking for in a therapist.
